His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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