Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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