well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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