Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
