Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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