remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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