doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize