Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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