Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
