"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
