I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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