You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
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So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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