Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
