margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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