I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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