Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
