They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
did you just send me my own nude
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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