I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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