butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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