You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
