i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
