**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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