hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
