It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look better un-naked...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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