I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
