it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize