Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
