Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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