weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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