I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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