and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
