Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
