Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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