she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
