I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize