Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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