yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
