I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
