jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
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Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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