the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
