You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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