do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
