He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
