Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
