u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
