Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
