i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my liver is dry heaving
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize