She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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