U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
