My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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