i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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