I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
