someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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