I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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