no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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